Have you ever wondered what would happen if you could meet a younger version of yourself? While the reality of that is reserved only for time travelers and fantasy novels, you can replicate the idea with an exercise that combines writing and meditation. It’s called “getting coffee with your younger self,” and though no actual coffee is required, it encourages you to find understanding, healing, and self-compassion.

Though it’s now a social media trend, this idea originated in a poem by Jenna Cecilia and is featured in her 2025 book, “Deep in My Feels.”

It has since been replicated countless times, often in the same format, with a poem or prose describing the metaphoric occurrence.

Understanding the Trend

There are several ways you can perform this exercise, but they all involve a bit of visualization. You’re to imagine meeting a version of your younger self. Beyond that, it’s up to you how it goes. Who leads the conversation, the type of comfort or advice you offer, and even whether or not you choose to journal or write a poem about it are all up to you.

This trend has grown popular in part because it mimics our innate need to look back on the past. “As we grow older, it’s natural to look back and wonder what advice we would give our younger selves, especially when facing challenges or regrets,” says Dr. Sanam Hafeez, NYC neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind. She adds that “meeting our former selves gives us comfort as if we are giving ourselves a comforting hug and supportive words from our past.”

No matter how you choose to do it, the point of getting coffee with your younger self is to reflect on your life and have self-compassion for your journey. Therapist Afton Turner, LPCA, says that this trend taps into both nostalgia and self-reflection “with a hopeful perspective—showing how far we’ve come and what our younger selves would think of these accomplishments.”

She says it can be useful to see how far we’ve come, noting, “When you frame your past self as an outsider hearing your story, it can be much easier to notice your accomplishments. This mental reframing fosters self-compassion by reminding us that we’ve been doing our best all along, and our best was good enough.”

What Are the Emotional and Psychological Benefits?

As you might expect, this exercise has a number of benefits. Turns tells us, “The shift in perspective this exercise provides helps reduce self-criticism and boost confidence” because “we are often much harder on our adult selves than we would be if we were talking to a child version of ourselves. It’s hard to picture your younger self and be mad or disappointed in them.” She notes, “This exercise opens the door for self-forgiveness, increased self-worth, and self-compassion.”

Hafeez agrees that the exercise can lead to more self-compassion. She explains, “When you think about your younger self, you might realize that you were doing the best you could with what you knew at the time, which opens the door to a kinder, more compassionate view of yourself,” telling us that “it’s almost like you’re able to offer the empathy and care you’ve learned over time back to the person you once were.”

She says it can also make you more self-aware, noting that “reflecting on your past can help you to better understand the patterns in your behavior, your choices and emotions,” and can strengthen your sense of identity because “by revisiting key moments in your life, you gain clarity on how those experiences shaped who you are today, reinforcing a stronger, more cohesive sense of self.”

Common Themes and Experiences

While there are countless ways this experience could go, there are definitely some throughlines that you see in others’ posts. I performed the exercise myself, and whether influenced by the social content of others or because it’s how it naturally played out, I felt like my experience was pretty similar to what others have shared.

Your coffee date begins by noting who got there first. Sometimes a young version is anxious and arrives early; sometimes the younger self is harried and overwhelmed and comes in late. I arrived at the exact same time as my younger self because I am autistic, and some things never change, including my mentality that being “on time” is being exactly five minutes early.

As you move through the exercise, themes will vary, but there is a motif of allowing your younger self to voice their concerns and worries and for you to assuage them. There is also the theme of offering some advice about how things will eventually work out, life will change, or things will get better.

Many people utilize the therapy they’ve had to be particularly soft and compassionate with their younger self. As mentioned, we’re all doing the best we can at any given moment, and the more experiences we have in life, the easier that becomes. I found it easy to forgive my mistakes and shortcomings and to see myself more as others do, rather than through my usual critical lens.

What Do Therapists Say?

Our therapists agree that while this is a worthwhile exercise that can lead to healing and positivity, it does have some limitations. “One limitation is that it can sometimes idealize the past, making people wish for things they can’t change, which may lead to dissatisfaction with the present,” says Hafeez.

If you’ve changed in surprising ways, your younger self may not approve. Turner explains, “Our younger selves may have lived vastly different lives—deeply religious and sheltered or completely nonreligious—shaping how they’d react to who we are today. Mine, for example, would be disappointed by my tattoos and piercings.” She notes, “For those struggling with their identity and sense of self, this exercise can stir up grief or regret instead of pride.”

As someone who got their first tattoo on her 18th birthday and her nose pierced in high school on a school field trip to a major city, that wasn’t my issue. But I did feel disappointed in the loss of friendships that I’d thought would endure the tests of time.

Lastly, this exercise could lead to discontent. “It might cause feelings of guilt or regret, especially if someone feels they didn’t live up to their own expectations at a younger age,” warns Hafeez. It can lead to a disconnection from the present moment, as people might get too caught up in what could’ve been instead of focusing on what is now.”

How To Try the Exercise

You can take the exercise literally if you’d like: Go to a coffee shop and order yourself a drink, then sit down and visualize your younger self meeting you there. Or you can perform the whole thing, as I did, in meditation, taking it step by step. It’s good to set a timer so that you spend a sufficient amount of time on the exercise, but don’t allow yourself to go down too deep a rabbit hole of your past.

Turner suggests you focus on being “honest but kind—don’t just list accomplishments; acknowledge the hard moments too, as those are even more significant successes.” She says, “If it brings up sadness, reflect on what your younger self needed to hear, and tell yourself that now. If it feels overwhelming, consider writing it out before speaking it aloud.”

Hafeez recommends you “try to offer the same compassion you would give a friend in need. Be gentle with your thoughts and avoid harsh self-criticism.” Focus on your growth, not on how you haven’t led a perfect life. “Rather than dwelling on mistakes, think about how far you’ve come and what you’ve learned from past experiences,” adds Hafeez. “This mindset helps you see your journey as a whole, with all its ups and downs.”