Depression and anxiety are both common mental health conditions—and for some of us, they exist together. In fact, some studies have suggested that between 20% and 40% of those with depression or anxiety have both.

How Do Depression and Anxiety Interact?

“Depression and anxiety are very closely related when you see the areas of the brain that they originate from—the amygdala,” says Gin Lalli, BSc HPD DSFH, a solutions-focused therapist.

She describes it as the fight, flight, or freeze response, which is a survival response that goes back to our ancestors. Lalli explains: “The problem is that response has not translated into modern-day times so well. Fight now becomes anger, flight is anxiety, and freeze is depression.”

While depression and anxiety are distinct conditions, they can share similar symptoms, such as:

• Irritability
• Fatigue
• Trouble sleeping
• Difficulty focusing

But as you can experience both sets of symptoms at once, it can be difficult to work out which is more dominant at any one time.

My Experiences Living With Depression and Anxiety

Depression and anxiety can develop at any age, and at different times. For me, they both arose during my early teenage years for various reasons. My anxiety at the time was mainly related to social situations—particularly school and interacting with peers—whereas my depression stemmed from my life being out of my control. I didn’t want to be 13 or 14, going to school five days a week, and I couldn’t wait to grow up.

And, as it turns out, people with social anxiety may be more likely to develop depression earlier than people without the condition.

Depression and anxiety might manifest differently from each other. For me, I’ll have periods when my depression is the one that needs the most attention, whereas other times it’ll be my anxiety that feels worse.

It can feel as if I have anxiety on one shoulder and depression on the other, trying to steer me in different directions. My anxiety will be telling me to be productive and get things done, while my depression will urge me to stay in bed and hide from the world, and there’s no guarantee as to which one will come out on top.

Other Stories of Depression and Anxiety

• Morgan, 25, says that her depression “tends to rule the roost,” and can make her anxiety worse as a result. “I tend to let routines go when I am having one of my worse periods of depression, which leads to panic attacks because I’m all out of sorts,” she explains. However, they both developed at the same time, and she was diagnosed with both simultaneously.
• Tom, 28, says his depression and anxiety alternate, with his anxiety often leading to depression. “The spiraling can give me a sense of hopelessness, although sometimes the lack of focus or motivation and the low feeling that comes with my depression can make me anxious about the future, paying rent, whether I’ll ever not feel like this… It’s all messy and hard to pick apart and separate,” he explains.
• Elisha, also 28, finds that her anxiety is worse, and explains that it presents in a lot of different ways, be it when she’s driving, or in relationships. However, depression came first originally, something she puts down to entering adulthood. “My mom always used to warn me of the stark contrast between being a teenager and then turning 21-ish, and it got to a point where I was like ‘Oh yeah, you’re right!’,” she says.

How Depression and Anxiety Can Show Up In Daily Life

In day-to-day life, this mix of depression and anxiety can make it more difficult to work on simple tasks, as we feel more exhausted or overwhelmed.

In the workplace, you might find that you’re procrastinating or feeling worried about your responsibilities. You know that you’ve got plenty to work on, but you feel overwhelmed looking at your to-do list. Before you know it, you’ve spent half the morning looking at cute cat videos on social media. It can be difficult to focus or to plan your work day.

Depression and anxiety can affect your relationships, too, be they romantic, familial, or relationships with friends or colleagues. You might withdraw or create emotional distance between yourself and the people in your life, which could lead to misunderstandings—and feelings of loneliness for yourself, too. This can be particularly true if living with depression and anxiety makes you irritable, which is quite common.

“Both conditions can create a sense of self-doubt and a feeling of being ‘too much’ for others, which often isolates people further,” Dr. Touroni explains. “The key is to recognize that these two conditions feed off each other, and by managing one, you can start to alleviate the symptoms of the other.”

How To Cope When You Have Both

Everyone’s experience with depression and anxiety is different, but there are things we can all do if we experience both. It’s a good idea to try out different strategies to find something that works.

Dr. Touroni suggests developing your own ‘toolkit’ of coping mechanisms, which might comprise a mix of therapy, lifestyle changes, and perhaps medication.

Therapy

Dr. Touroni advises seeking professional support to address both depression and anxiety holistically.

She says that many of her clients have found cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) useful because “it addresses both anxiety and depression by helping to challenge negative thought patterns and manage overwhelming emotions.”

Sham Singh, MD, a psychiatrist at WINIT Clinic, says, “In dealing with anxiety and depression, I look at their underlying causes, which might be emotional or environmental, but at times even biological. This comprehensive approach will help not only in relieving symptoms, but also in preventing their recurrence.

“The main idea of therapy would be to help the person elaborate a strategy to handle both anxious and depressive thoughts, usually starting with mindfulness and grounding techniques as ways to decrease the immediacy of the stressors.”

Medication

Medication can be useful, but different people will respond differently to different medications.

“I never got on with medication really—Zoloft (sertraline) made my depression ten times worse, it felt like,” Elisha explains. “I do feel like I’ve tried on my own to make them both better. In time, I feel like my depression has just sort of let itself go, but my anxiety just seems to present itself in so many different ways.”

Lee, 25, meanwhile, had tried various medications before landing on Effexor (venlafaxine). “They’ve upped the dosage a few times now, and I now take it three times a day,” she says. “They haven’t managed to find something that works for my anxiety yet, but I’ve found if I can manage the depression, then that has a knock-on effect and I don’t struggle so much with the anxiety.”

Lifestyle Changes

Making lifestyle changes can also help. Here are some techniques you can try:

• Mindfulness and grounding: Dr. Touroni describes these as being “incredibly helpful” in managing anxiety, letting us focus on the present rather than spiraling into worrying about the future.
• Setting goals: Dr. Touroni recommends setting small, achievable goals for depression. Take one step at a time, celebrate any wins, no matter how small, and recognize the progress you’re making.
• Movement: Physical activity can help reduce anxiety and boost your mood. Even going for a short walk, if you feel up to it, can help.
• Finding hope: “I’m still learning to live with both,” says Tom. “I find that I need to find a sense of hope in order to relieve the depressive feelings, whether that’s in exciting new work or projects, spending time with friends and feeling their love, doing something productive like a swim or run or a task I needed to get done or successful dating. But I can find, while the latter can be the biggest depression reliever in the moment, it can also amp up my anxiety.”
• Establishing a routine: “I thrive on keeping routines, making set times to do things I love, and giving myself plenty of grace,” says Morgan. “I tackle one thing my depression wants me to avoid every day, like cleaning my room, to stop myself from getting too anxious,” she says.

  For Lee, keeping routines is helpful for anxiety. “There’s less chance of getting anxious if I know what’s going to happen; but on the flip side, it makes it worse if something unexpected happens,” she explains.

How To Talk To People About It

Talking about our depression and anxiety isn’t always easy. Often, people might just not be able to relate, even if they mean well.

“I try to talk to my loved ones up front about how I’m feeling, but it doesn’t always land well,” Elisha explains. “At the same time, I don’t always expect them to get it 100%, but I find speaking to people I know have felt this way to be the most helpful.”

“I’ll be the first person to say I’m bad at talking to people about it. I try and pretend everything is fine until I’m literally breaking down, and then it’ll all come out at once,” says Lee. “The best way I’ve managed to describe it is my head is being very loud and I’m struggling to actually make anything out because of the noise or the thoughts. I’m definitely working on talking about it more, because I’m always encouraging my friends to talk and checking in on them. But I haven’t found the best way for me yet.”

Morgan is an educator, and says, “I’m pretty open and honest about it. I think having done so much talking to my classes about mental health, it means that I have no shame when it comes to admitting I’m struggling. But on a day-to-day basis, I mostly just make people aware (mostly about my anxiety because I do have anxiety attacks at times) and let them know if I’m having a particularly hard time.”

If you do decide to talk to loved ones about depression and anxiety, it’s fine to bring it up in conversation or ask them if you’d be able to have a conversation with them. Of course, it’s easier said than done. I’ve often struggled to reach out—particularly because I internalized ideas that men are meant to be “strong” and not discuss their feelings

But reaching out and talking to people is often the first step. We can often be pleasantly surprised by how our loved ones react. And if you don’t feel able to talk to people in your life, you may find support online from people going through the same thing as us.

The Importance of Seeking Support

“Most importantly, seeking support—whether through therapy, support groups, or talking to loved ones—is key to not feeling isolated in this struggle,” says Dr. Touroni.

Dr. Singh says that he encourages his clients to be patient with themselves—and again, that any progress is great. “That, combined with therapy and proper self-care routines such as regular exercise and sleep, can go a long way toward recovery,” he says.