When we’re single, and especially if we’ve found ourselves in a series of bad first dates or short-term situationships that never evolved into anything more, it can be tough to keep a positive mindset about finding love. We might find ourselves searching for anything we can that gives us hope, whether that’s astrology or pop psychology notions.

One of those “your person is out there” ideas that might help perk us up and give us hope is the invisible string theory. It’s not science or even a relationship theory—it came from a children’s book, in fact—but it’s a nice and mostly safe concept that can prevent despair when you’re worried that you’ll be endlessly alone.

So, What Is the Invisible String Theory?

The invisible string theory is the notion that your person is esoterically attached to you already through an invisible, metaphorical string. “Invisible string theory is based on beliefs in fate, spirituality, and destiny,” says Wendy Walsh, PhD, relationship expert and psychology professor. She notes that it isn’t scientifically based, and adds that “People who subscribe to the invisible string theory imagine that a ‘soulmate‘ is out there, attached to them by an invisible string and at the right time, the ‘Universe’ will present that person to them.”

The concept of the invisible string can be taken as literally, or not, as you care to. Suzannah Weiss, relationship coach and AASECT-certified sexologist for Biird, explains the idea “as if there is a string tying one person to the other so that wherever one person moves, the other travels with them, even without knowing it.” She adds that “invisible string theory (not to be confused with string theory in physics) is simply the idea that certain people are connected in an intangible way that renders their meeting (and possibly re-meeting after time apart) inevitable.”

The theory implies that regardless of the actions you take, you will end up with whomever you’re destined to be with. Weiss notes, “In a romantic context, this may mean that certain people are bound to end up together no matter what efforts they make to escape their destiny. ” She adds that “they may experience spontaneous encounters where they run into each other again and again. Or they may break up only for their lives to intersect once more years later.”

Its Use in Relationships

Believing in the invisible string theory can help you have faith. “Invisible string theory can calm anxiety in single people who are having a tough time in the mating marketplace,” says Walsh. She notes that “after a bad date or a breakup, they can self-console with the thought that their ‘soulmate’ is still out there and a path is being cleared for their entry.”

This theory can be applied to other relationships, too, and you can feel bound to others who you aren’t in love with. “You may have an invisible string-type connection with people other than romantic partners, such as friends, family members, business partners, or even pets,” says Weiss. For example, “Some people experience similar patterns with friends, where they may spend time apart but will always end up back in each other’s lives, or they may even realize they crossed paths earlier in life before they became friends,” she adds.

Emotional and Mental Health Implications

While it can be useful to feel that your match is out there, and even more than that, is already spiritually connected and tied to you, it’s healthy to maintain perspective and rationale, too.

“Invisible string theory may provide hope for people who feel an ineffable connection with someone but are not with them at the moment. It can help them keep the faith that if this person truly is for them, they will meet again one day,” says Weiss. But she notes that, “it can also create unhealthy attachments, where we think it is our destiny to be with a certain person and cannot explore other connections.”

However, it’s important to remember that the theory isn’t an excuse to be passive in life even if you opt to believe in it. Walsh explains, “Invisible string theory can make singles complacent, letting time slip by.”

Yet, whether you utilize invisible strings or anything else to keep a happier mindset, Walsh tells us that “People who look forward with optimism tend to have better mental health. Whether it involves reading an astrological forecast, believing in a religion that promises a better afterlife, or thinking that the universe will reel in your best relationships via an invisible string…”

“Do not accept poor treatment from them just because there is an invisible string between you,” she says. “This can lead to unhealthy relationships and actually defeats the purpose of invisible string theory, which is knowing you will remain connected to this person no matter what and do not need to try or compromise.”

Practical Benefits for Mental Well-Being

Believing in invisible strings that attach you to others is good for you if it makes you happy and hopeful. “Some people feel a greater sense of meaning in life if they believe there’s a higher power or supernatural force shaping their relationships and lives,” says Weiss. She adds, “They also may experience a greater sense of trust in the universe if they know there are special connections they have with people that transcend space, time, and logic.”

Walsh centers the theory around a reduction in our anxiety that the belief could help with. “Mythology is often used as an emotional coping mechanism against psychic (or psychological) pain. It can provide an emotional framework to explain life’s bumps,” she says.

She also notes that it isn’t terribly important whether you’re using this theory or a different one to find relief. “It is clear that chronic anxiety is detrimental to one’s physical health. An increase of cortisol and other stress hormones can suppress immune function. Any strategy designed to reduce anxiety can improve one’s health,” she says.

Bottom Line

The invisible string theory is the idea that we are tied to certain people and destined to have them in our lives at some point. It should not be used as an excuse for inaction, but it can be helpful to sustain your faith in love and keep a positive mindset. “Holding on to the mythical invisible string theory can help some people make sense of losses and gains in their intimate connections,” says Walsh.

If it makes you feel better about life and love, go ahead and give it some further thought! Your true love just may be tied to you already, via an invisible string.